When I first thought about making this blog, I wrote a very angry post:
Why wasn’t I pregnant yet? What did I do to deserve this? What can I possibly do to help myself? When will people stop asking me?!
I felt that the post was so anger-filled that I didn’t post it immediately. Instead, I let it sit in my draft box, and I let my emotions settle down a bit.
That angry post has stayed in my draft queue for about a month now. But that doesn’t matter, I’m still upset.
Instead of posting the very long, very angry, post about my own infertility, I will give you the basics:
- My husband and I have been trying to have a child for over a year and a half
- I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism & polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) (though I personally do not believe that I have PCOS)
- No one, besides myself and my husband, know that we are trying to have a child. This has become a double-edged sword.
These facts, and an irate rant, were what made up my initial first blog post for this site.
The reason why I did not post that initial blog is because I know, and millions of other women know, exactly what I’m going through without having to ever say it: heartache.
I know that millions of other women visit the same websites that I do (Baby Center has become a favorite of mine), and I know that all of you out there google all the same things that I do: what are implantation cramps? Do you experience cramping after ovulation? What is the best way to determine ovulation? What if my ovulation tests show that I’m ovulating on two-three different days? etc., etc., etc.
Earlier today, I read a very emotional, and very endearing, blog post from sincerely Hannah that made my heart both sink and hope: it was titled “To my sisters waiting for a baby, from your pregnant friend” (read it if you have the time). Her blog post made me realize that for myself, and hopefully for others, that I need to post my own story. A story of a young adult woman who wants nothing more than to get pregnant and bear a healthy child. I pray that others will find my journey enlightening, maybe helpful, and if nothing else at least a spot where we can both cry and enjoy each other’s company.
Love to all,
-I want a child-